Our greatest challenge for our awakening is uncovering the unconscious programming that limits or defines our experience of life.
I have spent a life time working through all my beliefs inherited from my childhood and previous lifetimes and it has been a slow, arduous, sometimes painful process. The analogy of healing being like an onion with many layers has been the reality of my journey and will be for you too.
Each layer reveals a deeper truth and the journey will ultimately transform your life. It has been a long and hard road to travel, but one that allowed me to step into an authentic way of living and of experiencing my life.
I began truly awakening when my Kundalini began to rise in 2005. I didn’t know what it was or meant at the time and caused no real problems for many years. I underwent some extremely confronting spiritual experiences including a spontaneous past life recollection that terrified me. I began to smell smoke in my apartment in the middle of the night with no known cause and feeling intense energy in my spine when I meditated.
After about 5 years nothing much changed until a difficult relationship ended badly. When the relationship ended, I fell into a deep state sadness, feeling betrayed and extremely hurt. During a bout of unrestrained crying a few evenings after the breaking up, I was suddenly catapulted into this unbelievable state of bliss. My heart felt as large as the room and would liken the experience to floating within the infinite, basking in love and beauty.
Not really knowing what to make of the experience I assumed this was just one of those spiritual moments I am prone to have.
But a few days later everything changed and there was no turning back. I felt stabbing pain in my chest, my heart beat erratically and could hardly breathe. I took my self to a medical clinic and had my heart tested but nothing could be found. They suggested it could be indigestion or digestive disorder. This was to be the beginning of the full blown Kundalini rising and the start of a truly difficult period of transformation.
Kundalini demands authenticity and everything that is not soul aligned will start to be dismantled one by one.
Every belief, every hurt, every emotion that remains unresolved is blown up into huge proportions so there can be no hiding from it. Absolutely everything is revealed and exposed, every lesson you need to learn, every unresolved behavioural, emotional or mental patterns will be brought up. There is no hiding when these issues arise. I experienced many dark nights of the soul where I thought I could no-longer go on but go on I did.
After each soul lesson was learnt, I experienced a more authentic version of me that I had never known before, begin to make an appearance in my life.
Over time, I started using processes garnered from everything I had ever experienced or read plus dreams that had by now become an important mode of receiving important guidance.
Over the last three years, I have found self-reflection a powerful way to uncover insights that aided my journey. I uncovered hidden patterns that have unknowingly limited my experience of life. With a few simple healing exercises and reflective exercises (to be posted on this blog over the coming few months), you will discover the key to awakening and how to deal with the most challenging awakening symptoms.
Your behavioural, emotional and mental patterns are the unconscious programs, predominantly hidden from you and actively play out behind the scenes working against your conscious attempts to change your life experience.
Sometimes it takes many attempts to change long held patterns. These long held patterns sometimes have many layers and all the layers contain lessons that need to be learned one by one.
I hope in sharing these simple tools you will find your way home to your true self, experiencing life fully with joyful anticipation and expectation of reaping the fruits of life.
Wishing you a truly authentic spiritual life,
Stella Solaris Ferry